5 Ways to Be Assertive and Confident

No matter whether you call it Self Development, Personal Development, or Self Help, these books, tapes, courses, CDs and DVDs are flying off the shelf as fast as the staff at your local book store can put them there.  Walk into your local library and ask for one of these topics and you will be asking one of the most commonly requested topics. 

People from all walks of life, from house wife’s to house builders, from custodians to CEOs, students to professors, business people to entrepreneurs are actively in search of way to improve their lives, their business’, their situations, their standard of living and even themselves.  Of the self help genre “How to be assertive” and “How to be confident” of the most sought after topics, thus I thought it worthy to spend a little time sharing some tips with you.

I am willing to be that you, like me, have been drawn to those delightfully assertive and positively confident people.  They seem to have a magnetic draw about them.  During job interviews potential employers, are keeping a watchful eye out for these highly beneficial qualities in the prospects they are interviewing.  Of the qualities they are keeping an eye out for, assertiveness and confidence is high on their list.  Think about it for a moment…those people that you have admired, looked up to, emulated or if your lucky, have been mentored by are admittedly confident and assertiveness.  Also, I am willing to be that your admiration and respect was because of or at least enhanced by that very confidence and assertiveness.

In order to achieve your goals leading to the life that you not only desire but deserve, being assertive and confident will prove to be two very valuable character traits. While some people seem to be born assertive and confident, the rest of us can learn these coveted characteristics.

Here are 5 ways to become assertive and confident:

1. Triumph over shyness. Shyness comes in many forms – from the healthy to overwhelming to the debilitating. I do not want to confuse low-self esteem with shyness the two are like night and day.  I have come across many a shy person that has a very positive image of them self, however they merely lacked assertiveness and confidence. If you’re shy, you can practice these Buy Cheap Propecia Online techniques to overcome your shyness:
   
   • Visualization. Positively visualize situations and circumstances before experiencing them. This will give you a better “what if” scenario, and help you be better prepared for any variation.  You have probably practiced visualizing negatively – it’s called worry.  So why not put that same power to good use by visualizing positively?
   • Practice speaking. People who are shy often dislike the sound of their own voices. Practicing speeches in front of a mirror or with trusted friends will help you gain the confidence you need.  Check my blog post called “The Practice Process” for a great method of practicing speaking that you could use for this very reason – whether or not you ever plan to give a speech in front of an audience.  The simple ability to convey your thoughts clearly and with ease will do wonders for your confidence and ability to be assertive.
   • Reinforce the positive. This is a way of thinking yourself out of being shy. By using affirmations to assert your positive characteristics, you can convince yourself that you are brilliant and worthy of great things. After all, sometimes the hardest person to convince is you!
     
2. Avoid confusing aggressive with assertive.  Remember those you are trying to influence will respond better to your being assertive rather then coming at them aggressively.
   • Aggressive people tend to be seen as bossy or as bullies.  They are the ones that come at a situation from all the wrong angles with harsh criticism.  Using statements like “You are doing that all wrong..”.
   • Assertive people come at the exact same situation with sincere concern and result oriented ideas to improve the project, rather that ‘bash’ the current “way.”
   • Approach people with positive attitudes and your solutions to problems.  Show them the respect you would like to have shown you, and you will  have the same courtesy returned in kind.
3. Stay informed.  One of the surest ways of becoming and staying assertive and confident is to know your subject matter. No matter the situation is, whether financial, personal, professional or spiritual, the more you know, the more confident you will be.
   
   • Whether a job interview, a elevator conversation or a presentation to a room full of people, knowing what you’re talking about will give an uplifting air of confidence.
   • Prepare for potential questions on your subject matter.  Think about all the questions you have been asked in the past or could be asking in the near future.  You could even have a trusted associate help you with identifying some common questions and answers that you would not think of alone.  Create this question list, get the answers then practice them.  You will gain a solid confidence in front of others when you have first brainstormed and practice these with someone you are comfortable with.
4. Just Say It!  How many times have you been around someone that you know knew something of value or importance and they just did not speak up when the time was right.  So… Just say it!  Then say it with confidence even if you don’t feel confident. Practice speaking this confidently. The more you practice the more it will become second nature.
5. WWJD?   Model someone you worthy that you admire.  I can remember not too long ago, many people wore WWJD wrist bands and cars were plastered with WWJD sticker.  WWJD stands for “What would Jesus do?”  No matter your spiritual affilations – this same motto should become a part of your thinking.  Model someone you admire and respect and ask “What would X do?”  I am willing to bet that the people/person you admire have the assertiveness and confidence you are hoping to build.
   • Observe how they do things.
   • Pay attention to what they say and how they say it.
   • Watch their body language.

Studying and modeling people who have the character traits and habits you desire is one of the best ways to birth, nurture and instill those very same traits in yourself.

Learning to become confident and assertive can enable you to achieve your goals leading to the life that you not only desire but deserve.  Remember that many of our great leaders in business, politics and even religion, did not start out assertive nor confident, George Washington was so shy growing that he avoided talking to people.  Yet, he changed his ways, and so can you!  Practicing these and other confidence boosting tips will put you on the right track to success.  BUT – First and foremost, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities!

Think Successfully & Take Action!

Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs

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