Archive for confidence
Build competence by feeling competent
Posted by: | CommentsHow competent do you want to be at what you do? How competent do you want to be at something new? How do you base that competence? Do you have periodic tests, or evaluations against yourself, or against other perhaps? Do you put your work(s) on display in public for the whole world to see, or at least for your office & boss to see? You see, no matter how you demonstrate your competence in what you do – there is definitely always an objective way by which you can and should consider yourself a success in that activity or skill.
While, as I just noted, there is always a way to prove and evaluate your competence, what I find most peculiar is the fact that people who really think they are incompetent at what they do, will often not change their mind when presented with indicators of their success and competence. Their self doubt overrules the evidence of competence, like a judge in the court of their mind. However, this also works on the opposite side of the street. The proof of this would be most evident in all the reality shows we have seen explode onto the scene over the recent years.
One such show that has captured by attention features dancers from all skill levels and walks of life performing weekly to entertain and to win the shows grand prize. The early episodes have many of those people that ‘believe’ they can dance at a level they believe makes them worthy of appearing on the show but truly they can not. When they are given sincere critique by the judges of the show (all of which have been in the industry for many years) they balk at the critique and proclaim their future success in dance. All the while you, the audience member, sit there wondering “how in the world do THEY think they can dance?”
Now I am not saying that they will never reach the level they believe they already have, what I am saying is that their belief in their competence is a driving force and that same driving force can work to your own advantage. I say this from my own experience as well as the experience of people I have come across over the years.
From my own experience, I can share a brief story of how my own belief in my competence launched my programming business. Shortly after leaving the US Military, I did computer programming – mostly as a hobby. While in the military I did use it to make my job simpler by programming a few record keeping tasks and the like. But mostly I did it as a past time – reading up on what was going on in the industry and studying the current programming languages and seeing what I was able to do with them. After I got out of the service I decided to see what I could do with my hobby by trying to turn it into a career. I was able to land a job at a medical billing company as a systems analyst, and then a couple months later I was promoted to their programmer.
How? Well I believed in my ability and my competence in the programming language they were using for their billing system. But, here is the catch… I had only been programming in that particular languages for about six months. So it wasn’t my length of time or experience in their system or its langue that landed me the promotion. Nope it was my belief in my ability to use the knowledge I did have, and my ability to learn everything else I needed to in the time line they expected me to. That’s just what I did, I programmed their doctors billing system over the course of the next few months, by applying the all the best of what I had already learned. Applying all the knowledge and competence I had; not just from their system’s language but from other languages that I had alli and sales previously studied and read up on.
You see, I am willing to bet that you are like most other people (myself included) and that like most people the first step toward improving your job performance, sports performance, relationship performance or any other performance has nothing to do with the job, sport or skill itself. But rather it has to do with improving how they, and you, feel about yourself as a whole and how you feel about yourself relative to that skill or competence. Studies I have read bear out the fact that in eight out of ten people, it is self image that has far more to do with ones performance and competence then their actual level of skill or competence in that skill.
So, you see the next time your sitting down watching one of those reality shows and giggling to yourself as you see the person with that seemingly unrealistic belief that they have the skill to be a winner on that show. Stop for moment and ask how you can take on that same belief in your desired skill of choice. For that passionate belief will bear some wonderful fruit in your competence in that skill as you strive to build it.
Here are a few action steps you can take right now to build your own belief in your competence:
• Create positive affirmations in an area you would like to build competence in and stand tall and recite them with feeling – without feeling and passion the road to competence is much longer
• Read, listen, and study the different nuances of what you are trying to become competent in.
• Everyday practice your skill(s) in the area you are wanting to become more competent in. Do not focus on only one area but grow outward step by step growing your competence and confidence.
Think Successfully & Take Action (with competence!)
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas programs
What Does Cheerleading Have To Do With YOUR Success?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat does cheerleading have to do with your success? Well before I tell you let me take you back for a moment. If you have read my blog for any length of time, you are well aware of the love and pride I have for my daughters. As a parent and a father I try so hard to instill in my girls all the learnings I have gathered over the years – in the sincere hopes that they may avoid some of the pitfalls of my past through me. This is sage advice about becomeing successful that I learned and have offered to you and my clients over the years – find someone that has successfully traveled the path you want to travel and learn from them, either directly or indirectly.
But as a parent I am ever concerned about just how deeply the life lessons I am sharing are being absorbed, until I read this essay my daughter wrote a couple years back. I want to share it with for a couple reasons.
- It embodies everything I believe will make her (and YOU) successful in whatever path or goal she (or you) chooses
- Because while I have been trying to teach her, she taught me and in turn I would like to pass some of her sage wisdom on to you.
Oh and did I mention she was only 12 when she wrote this?
Read and enjoy as you learn just what Cheerleading has to do with your success in life, your success in business and yes even your success in your relationships.
Think Successfully & Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s Top Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs
The following is by Shandi’rae Brinkmann
Glitz. Glitter. Glam. That’s the part you see, the show we put on. What you don’t see is what we go through to put that two minute and thirty second performance onto that stage. The long, hard, grueling practices, going over the routine what seems like millions of times. The bumps and bruises received while trying to perfect every stunt. There is a lot more to competitive cheerleading than meets the eye, but in the end, all of that is worth it. To me, the worst part is the feeling of doubt and the nervousness that fill your head right before you step onto the enormous stage, under the lights and the pressure of perfection feeling like the world on your shoulders.
“You’ve done this before, calm down, you will do fine,” I keep telling myself that, but somehow it doesn’t seem to help. There are three teams in front of us still waiting to perform, that means we have about eight minutes before we go on.
“Girls,” Coach Christina calls to us, “Come over here, we need to say our prayer” I gather my thoughts and linger over to where Coach Christina and the rest of the team had formed a circle. Christina begins, “Dear lord, please take all of these unneeded nerves away from my girls, and help them do their best and remain safe on the stage tonight. Lord, help us hit all of our stunts and stick all of our tumbling, and most of all have fun!” in unison the team says, “Amen.”
I return to the team line up, breathing deeply, and going over all the counts in my head.
“Chill, you’re going to psych yourself out if you don’t calm down. We have done this how many times at practice? We got this, you have nothing to worry about,” Justin reassures me.
“Ugh, I know, I know, I’m just extremely nervous. I mean, look out there, there are so many people, and the it’s so loud it feels like my heart beat is actually beginning to get in sync with the beat of the music. I can feel the pounding bass drum in my stomach, almost like butterflies, but worse, oh so much worse,” I ramble on about all the things that I really shouldn’t be thinking about.
“Just breathe, we got this girl” Justin says as we hear them call the next team to the stage. This meant I only had about five minutes to get myself together. I could tell I wasn’t the only one nervous, for fear seemed to be struck across many of the athlete’s faces awaiting their turn on the stage. All of a sudden bells, horns, and loud cheers filled the auditorium, as a team ran back through the streamers, returning backstage after their performance. This made things even worse. I kept thinking about how good they must have done to receive a reaction like that; we couldn’t possibly be able match up. With the worries of failure consuming my thoughts the fact that we were next had become like a fan blowing in an empty room, quite and unnoticed, that was until the announcer loudly and quite obnoxiously said “Please welcome to the stage Aero Dynamic Elite All-Stars!” Reality hit me like a bolder falling from a cliff I seemed to have lost my breath as nerves over took me. Our fate relied on the moments about to occur, who knew that two minutes and thirty seconds could be so important.
The fog machine comes on and as I step out through the streamers onto the stage suddenly nothing else exist, it’s just me and my team. All the fear and anxiety disappear. As I make sure I’m in the right spot I smile at Justin before lowering my head standing set and waiting the music.
“There is nothing to worry about, I belong here,” I thought to myself seconds before the music started.
“Five, six, seven, eight!” the team yells simultaneously to assure we start on the same count. One, two three, four, I grab Justin’s wrists setting for a basket, using all of my strength; I throw Alyssa into the air. The basket is perfection, without time to take in what was happening I move to the corner and have to do a round-off into four back handsprings, and sticking a perfect landing. So far so good, moving on to the stunt I begin to count out loud again to make sure my group on time. Set one, two, dip three, four, and on five six Sarah is in the air hitting a perfect scale. Finishing the stunt we cradle, set out and move to our cheer formation. We all flash a cute smile to the crowd and begin yelling the rhyming words of our cheer to the rhythm of the music. Squeezing every muscle in my body with each motion, trying to be as sharp as possible, I finish the cheer and move to the second stunt. My bases are set, but something seems wrong… they were facing the wrong way! Trying to fix the situation as quickly as possible and trying to avoid unwanted attention being drawn to their mistake, I grab Sarah’s shoulders and position her the correct way. Thankfully, Lexi and Whitney followed my lead, but I hadn’t done it quickly enough, we end up setting a half a count late. I regained control of the stunt to be sure to cradle and set out on the right count.
“Now comes the hardest part,” I thought to myself.
Arriving at my spot for the pyramid, I knelt down and securely grabbed Lexi’s ankle. Neither one of my bases were necessarily strong, so I knew I had to do most of the work. We dip, and using every ounce of energy in me, I push up on Lexi’s leg and drove the stunt to a full extension.
“Yes!” we hit that part, “stay tight Lexi,” I scream right before we dip for the cradle into flat back. Sure enough, Lexi doesn’t stay tight enough and I had to push myself twice as hard to reload her into a scale.
“Please, Briana and Whitney, come through for me and try to get this stunt to hit” I thought to myself as we dipped for the reload. Hitting it almost perfectly, the largest smile my lips were capable of appeared on my face. We cradled and set out, then moved to our positions for the jumps, my favorite. I hit a high-V with a wide grin still on my face, and then swing my arms beginning my double toe touch. Turning to the side I began to do the hurdler jump into a pike jump. As my feet return to the ground, I turn to the crowd and wink right before going into a standing double back handspring step out onto knee. Landing in perfect correspondence with Meagan and Justin, we all stand and begin the dance. Every muscle in my body ached, but that didn’t matter, I had to push myself to stay tight and finish perfectly. We finally reach the last eight counts and I smiled in relief as I grabbed onto Meagan’s arm and hit the ending pose.
The thunderous sound of clapping and cheering filled the area as we ran off stage. I honestly couldn’t believe what had just happened. Once we returned backstage, we went over to the television to watch our play back. While viewing it, I tried to find every mistake or out of place step that they could have deducted points for. I was pretty pleased with our performance. As the video finished we all started looking at each other and all at once started jumping around, screaming and hugging each other.
“I’m so proud of you! You girls did amazing out there!” Coach Christina says, “Now, let’s go see your parents.”
As we ran around the edge of the stage, the patiently waiting family and friends come into view; I ran straight to my mom. I end up with her arms around me, and she has tears streaming down her face. I look up at her not understanding why she is crying.
“Mom, what wrong?” I asked.
“If you only knew how proud of you I am right now, you did so amazing up there! Your dad is waiting right there, you should go talk to him” she ends her sentence with a reassuring smile. As I turn to find my dad, there he is standing right behind me with a white rose clasped in his out stretched hand. As I take the rose joy seemed to fill every part of me. Just receiving that single rose meant the world to me, it reminded me that everything I went through, and everything my team went through, was well worth it.
Before I had gotten onto the stage, I didn’t believe that I could accomplish the task that lied ahead front of me. I was so terrified of failure that I almost gave up my dreams and passion for cheerleading all together. Going out there on that stage and proving to everyone, and more importantly to myself that I could do it meant an indescribable amount to me. At that point it didn’t matter what place we got, or how big our trophy was, because in our mind giving it everything we had, was enough to make us feel as if we had become the grand champions.
Foster Steadfast Self-Confidence
Posted by: | CommentsDiscover Your Deepest Desire
I had a friend reviewing the first draft of my eBook – in which he read a question that made him consider his own level of self confidence. That question read, “If your success was unconditionally guaranteed – what one goal would take on?” He sat back and seriously pondered that very question for sometime. Shortly after that, he told me that his life was taking a turn for the better – in many ways and that this turn was having a very positive impact on his self confidence.
Having never considered this question before, he – like many others, never had the self confidence to truly mull over the question’s implications. Like me, after having given it some serious thought, he was hit with a blinding flash of the obvious. There it stood before us clear as day – our hopes and dreams were kept out of our reach only by our belief (or disbelief) in our own ability to reach them and that belief (or lack of it) has a correlation to our level o self confidence
Many of you are probably experiencing the same kind of self confidence ‘screen’ separating you from your dreams. You can see them through the screen, but you are unable to allow yourself to truly feel them as accomplished. You have so many things you want from your life. All the things you want to be, to have and to do; all the things you want to experience and give to your loved ones. But that thin ‘invisible’ self confidence screen holds you back. That ‘screen’ of the unsure will only be cut by a sharp and steadfast level of self confidence.
Take a moment to ask yourself that very same question: “If your success was unconditionally guaranteed – what one goal would take on?” Have the self assuredness and self confidence to honestly and the question about yourself to yourself. Get yourself into a quiet spot and sit down with a pad and pen. Write that question at the top of the page. Or, your could do like I do and say the question into a recorder and play it back. However, which ever method you use, record your answers. Don’t hold back. Let it all out. Let out all your dreams, desires and goals. You are after all unconditionally guaranteed success the moment you have the self confidence to go after it.
Feel the ‘power’ of having accomplished these goals as you describe them in detail via your pen or your voice. Now take another moment and think about what a difference it would make in your world if you lived your life with this level of steadfast self-confidence everyday. What would you begin to do? What goals would you set for yourself today? Tomorrow? What dreams would you take on head first if you knew with every fiber of your being that you could accomplish them?
Record all this today – don’t let this slip away without getting it all down. Let your heart pour out through your pen or into your recorder. The key is to let all that is true inside you out. You’re not trying to life up to the dreams, goals and aspirations of those around you – this is you having the self confidence to be honest with YOU. You’ll find that allegra d order these quiet moments will always reveal dreams, goals and desires that are in direct harmony to your deepest values and highest aspirations. You will be able to reach down and find out what is important to you! You will uncover who you are and what you believe in deeply.
As you reveal these glints of the person you truly desire; have the guts and the self confidence to face yourself for who you want to be. Stand toe-to-toe with the man or woman that you truly desire to be; not the one that you might be, nor that one that someone else would mold you into. Stand there and give yourself a good look and realize – now that is the kind of person I WANT to be and the person I will become.
· Make A Plan To Achieve It
Being true to yourself means knowing exactly what you want and having a plan to achieve it. Lasting self-confidence comes when you absolutely know that you have the capacity to get from where you are to wherever you want to go. You are behind the wheel of your life. You are the architect of your destiny and the master of your fate.
· Use the “Act As If” Principle
Act as though it were impossible to fail. Act as though you already had a high level of self-confidence. And continually ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to dream if I knew I could not fail?” Whatever your answer, you can have it if you can dream it, and if you have the self-confidence to go out and get it.
Action Exercises
- First, have the self confidence and resolve to step out in faith in the direction of your dreams; just do it!
- Second, ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to dream if I knew I could not fail?”
- Third, be true to yourself, to the very best that is in you. Never compromise!
Think Successfully & Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann
One Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas ProgramsYou now can buy paxil online
Cultivate an Air of Importance
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the key desires of every human, that has trend this earth, is a simple one. They want to feel important. Every single person you know, have known, or will come to know, has a natural desire to feel as if they are ‘somebody.’ The desire is truly humankind’s most fervent, persuasive non-biological hunger.
Many people have built entire companies feeding this desire. If you should have the slightest doubt towards that last statement, then, I would urge you to pause and really listen to a few of the commercials on TV. Read some of the copy on the SPAM we all receive. Or, stay up late one night and listen to a couple of those infomercials. The majority of the messages you will receive from all this advertising is, “Buy this product and you will move to the head of the class (in this area or that area).” Whether the area is your body, your financial independence or your home life, you’ll be better, feel better and do better if you buy the product.
Well it’s time that you use this same basic human drive to push yourself towards your own desired success. It is time for you to begin satisfying your own need to feel important. Feeding that internal hunger is a key to getting results, in areas that you have been struggling with. Let’s not forget, so few people use this technique, that once you begin to apply it, you will stand out far in front of the crowd.
Here are some of the ways to cultivate your ‘air’ of importance and reap the rewards:
- Let’s start with the simplest of the cultivation steps. Call people by their names. Applying the “Hey Dude” or “Morning Honey” mentality does not embed you in the minds of those around you. Inside a part of them in thinking, “I’m not important enough to him (or her) to even remember my name, or attempt to.” If you are not making them feel important to you then you will quickly become less important to them. People liked to be called by their name; it gives a little emotional boost to be addressed by name.
- Show an attitude of gratitude. Practice appreciation at every opportunity. Make it a standing rule that you show others your appreciation towards the things they have done for you, or for others. Decide right now that you will NOT let anyone you come in contact with feel like they are taken for granted. No one gets to the top alone. We all have help in our climb. Be sure to thank those that help, even in the slightest way!
Be sure to be sincere in your show of appreciation. No one wants a canned “I don’t know what we would do without you.” Show your gratitude with honest, personalized compliments. We all thrive on compliments and a heartfelt thank you. Praise folks in many ways; by writing a personal note a quick phone call, an email, or make special trip to stop by and see them personally.
Avoid the trap of lumping people into groups such as ‘unimportant’, ‘important’ and ‘very important.’ For without a doubt you have to realize that everyone in your life from the custodian to the congressman is vastly valuable in one way or another. If you want to get first class results you cannot treat these important people like second-class citizens.
- Invest your glory. During the course of your career or family life someone will take the time to notice you publicly. Here you will have two roads you can travel. One road (the road so many take) is the road that leads you to say ‘I’ a lot. You will say things like “Thank you for noticing MY work.” “‘I’ put a lot of time in.” “When ‘I’ started this project…” and so on. While all these statements may be true, you are forgetting the rest of the people that helped you to get to where you are at that very moment. So I would suggest you take the road less traveled. When presented the glory of a win, be it the completion of a project, an award or whatever the glory may be. Take a few moments to bask in the sun of that glory. You deserve it! You worked hard to get there. But then invest some of that glory onto those that helped to put you there. When you share your glory with those that supported you, you can be sure that they will aid you once again, and again, and again.
If you want to cultivate your own air of importance, you need to plant the seeds of importance in those around you. Make them feel important, truly important, to you. Then, you will become important to them. People will do more for you and will perform in a far superior manner for you when you are important to them. Finally, when you make others feel important, you help yourself feel Buy Generic Cialis Online important too! Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
Think Successfully and Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs
5 Ways to Be Assertive and Confident
Posted by: | CommentsNo matter whether you call it Self Development, Personal Development, or Self Help, these books, tapes, courses, CDs and DVDs are flying off the shelf as fast as the staff at your local book store can put them there. Walk into your local library and ask for one of these topics and you will be asking one of the most commonly requested topics.
People from all walks of life, from house wife’s to house builders, from custodians to CEOs, students to professors, business people to entrepreneurs are actively in search of way to improve their lives, their business’, their situations, their standard of living and even themselves. Of the self help genre “How to be assertive” and “How to be confident” of the most sought after topics, thus I thought it worthy to spend a little time sharing some tips with you.
I am willing to be that you, like me, have been drawn to those delightfully assertive and positively confident people. They seem to have a magnetic draw about them. During job interviews potential employers, are keeping a watchful eye out for these highly beneficial qualities in the prospects they are interviewing. Of the qualities they are keeping an eye out for, assertiveness and confidence is high on their list. Think about it for a moment…those people that you have admired, looked up to, emulated or if your lucky, have been mentored by are admittedly confident and assertiveness. Also, I am willing to be that your admiration and respect was because of or at least enhanced by that very confidence and assertiveness.
In order to achieve your goals leading to the life that you not only desire but deserve, being assertive and confident will prove to be two very valuable character traits. While some people seem to be born assertive and confident, the rest of us can learn these coveted characteristics.
Here are 5 ways to become assertive and confident:
- Triumph over shyness. Shyness comes in many forms – from the healthy to overwhelming to the debilitating. I do not want to confuse low-self esteem with shyness the two are like night and day. I have come across many a shy person that has a very positive image of them self, however they merely lacked assertiveness and confidence. If you’re shy, you can practice these Buy Cheap Propecia Online techniques to overcome your shyness:
- Visualization. Positively visualize situations and circumstances before experiencing them. This will give you a better “what if” scenario, and help you be better prepared for any variation. You have probably practiced visualizing negatively – it’s called worry. So why not put that same power to good use by visualizing positively?
- Practice speaking. People who are shy often dislike the sound of their own voices. Practicing speeches in front of a mirror or with trusted friends will help you gain the confidence you need. Check my blog post called “The Practice Process” for a great method of practicing speaking that you could use for this very reason – whether or not you ever plan to give a speech in front of an audience. The simple ability to convey your thoughts clearly and with ease will do wonders for your confidence and ability to be assertive.
- Reinforce the positive. This is a way of thinking yourself out of being shy. By using affirmations to assert your positive characteristics, you can convince yourself that you are brilliant and worthy of great things. After all, sometimes the hardest person to convince is you!
- Avoid confusing aggressive with assertive. Remember those you are trying to influence will respond better to your being assertive rather then coming at them aggressively.
- Aggressive people tend to be seen as bossy or as bullies. They are the ones that come at a situation from all the wrong angles with harsh criticism. Using statements like “You are doing that all wrong..”.
- Assertive people come at the exact same situation with sincere concern and result oriented ideas to improve the project, rather that ‘bash’ the current “way.”
- Approach people with positive attitudes and your solutions to problems. Show them the respect you would like to have shown you, and you will have the same courtesy returned in kind.
- Stay informed. One of the surest ways of becoming and staying assertive and confident is to know your subject matter. No matter the situation is, whether financial, personal, professional or spiritual, the more you know, the more confident you will be.
- Whether a job interview, a elevator conversation or a presentation to a room full of people, knowing what you’re talking about will give an uplifting air of confidence.
- Prepare for potential questions on your subject matter. Think about all the questions you have been asked in the past or could be asking in the near future. You could even have a trusted associate help you with identifying some common questions and answers that you would not think of alone. Create this question list, get the answers then practice them. You will gain a solid confidence in front of others when you have first brainstormed and practice these with someone you are comfortable with.
- Just Say It! How many times have you been around someone that you know knew something of value or importance and they just did not speak up when the time was right. So… Just say it! Then say it with confidence even if you don’t feel confident. Practice speaking this confidently. The more you practice the more it will become second nature.
- WWJD? Model someone you worthy that you admire. I can remember not too long ago, many people wore WWJD wrist bands and cars were plastered with WWJD sticker. WWJD stands for “What would Jesus do?” No matter your spiritual affilations – this same motto should become a part of your thinking. Model someone you admire and respect and ask “What would X do?” I am willing to bet that the people/person you admire have the assertiveness and confidence you are hoping to build.
- Observe how they do things.
- Pay attention to what they say and how they say it.
- Watch their body language.
Studying and modeling people who have the character traits and habits you desire is one of the best ways to birth, nurture and instill those very same traits in yourself.
Learning to become confident and assertive can enable you to achieve your goals leading to the life that you not only desire but deserve. Remember that many of our great leaders in business, politics and even religion, did not start out assertive nor confident, George Washington was so shy growing that he avoided talking to people. Yet, he changed his ways, and so can you! Practicing these and other confidence boosting tips will put you on the right track to success. BUT – First and foremost, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities!
Think Successfully & Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs
