Archive for Life Coaching

Sep
26

You ARE already goal setting

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Worthy goals push, drive and motivate you to do more, to be more and to have more.  If I think back to my childhood, I can remember one of my earliest goals in life.  I was a small child, and I mean that in stature not just being young.  To give you a better vision of what I mean, I was only four foot three inches in the ninth grade.  So as you can imagine, many of the bigger boys made not only a goal of but a pastime out of picking on me.  I internally set a goal to create situations in my little life that would help me avoid as much of this school yard harassment as possible.

So, how does a small boy accomplish this large feat?  I accomplished this goal by breaking it down into three smaller goals.  First, I learned from my father (who by the way was six feet three inches tall) that making people laugh was the quickest way to reach inside them.  So my first sub goal was to hone my sense of humor.  You see, if you can engage a person, and make them laugh, I found they were far less likely to want to mistreat you.

Second sub goal was to leverage a powerful force to my side.  What powerful force you ask?  Well, let me explain and I am sure you can figure out which one of the primary human drivers I was leveraging for this goal.  Every school year (and throughout the summer) I would make friends with some of the more popular and pretty girls.  I did this knowing that some of those ‘more manly’ boys would want meet and learn about these girls.  Thus, having those lovely ladies as friends gave him and I some common ground.  A side benefit of this goal was the obvious ego boost that came with being friends with some of the more popular and attractive girls at school.

Sub goal three was set as a back-up plan…when all else fails you should know how to

1)      Run

2)      Fight

So I learned both.  Why fight?  Because you cannot always far enough or fast enough.  Why run?  Because you cannot always fight your way out.  Even though by the time I had gotten into high school I had about three years of martial arts under my belt (no pun intended) – there were times when running WAS and IS the best option.  One such time was when I was surrounded by nine guys whom did not like the fact that I had befriended a girl named ‘Tracy.’  Tracy’s boyfriend was in juvenile hall and when he got out they surrounded me as I left school.  I am no Jackie Chan or Jett Lee, heck I am not even Steven Segal, so running in this case was the best solution.  However, in those times when the odds were a little better I was able to use the martial arts I had learned to defend myself and others.  Again a side benefit of this sub goal was the self-esteem, self-confidence and inner calm that come from feeling strong enough to protect yourself and those you care about even when you choose not to use it.

All this goes to show that goal setting has been a part of my life since very early in my life.  I am betting that setting goals has been a part of your life from an early age as well, directly or indirectly.   Did you have your eye on someone you wanted to date?  Were you able to get that first date?  Did you see that new TV in the advertisement and figure out how you could make it fit into your budget?  Did your child come to you and say how much they really really really wanted you to be at their play/recital/show?  You see even indirectly goal setting is already a part of your life.

Now is the time to make it an ACTIVE part of your life and truly compound and reap the benefits that a focused goals plan can get you.  It has been said that we are only truly happy when we are actively working towards a worthy goal.  And you know what – this is not new news!

You need to set and work towards worthy goals and yes I will be taking you through an entirely new way to set your goals in up-coming posts – but in the mean time you can find many other great tips and techniques for goals setting, (including brainstorming your goals) in previous postb.  Let me know your thoughts, questions and concerns!

 

Think Successfully & Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann

One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs

Rollercoasters are a great past time of mine and in many way a great analogy for not just goal setting but for my life and I am willing to bet for your life and goal setting as well.  You often spend lots of time, even hours more, than you would like, waiting for the moment that the ride actually begins (that first step towards your goal).  Then comes that slow climb to the top, you heart racing in your chest, and WHOOSH you are off to the races.  The first invigorating plunge into your major goal then right turns, and left turns, U-turns and screams combined with more climbs up and dives down.   This happens over and over again with a couple of pauses before the next plunge back into your goal.  But ONLY pausing long enough for you to just catch your breath then it hits you all over again until BAM, it’s all over.

For a little while your heart continues to race, your turn to your friend and excitedly share what just experienced, whether it’s perceived as good or perceived as bad, then you leave.  Sometimes, you leave the ride (the life experience or the goal that you set) wanting more.   Perhaps you want to do it again.  You might even rush right back into line to do just that.  Other times you leave the ride or the goal setting or life experience never wanting to do it EVER again – and so you don’t – then you become one of those left out of the experiences as the stand at the exit, pouting feeling left out, when see all the riders (goal setters) coming out exhilarated and wanting to do it all again.  Has your life been a bit like that, even partly, at specific times?  I know mine has!

First off, let me say it is not my goal to try and spin some sob story of being the product of an under-privileged household or abusive parents because honestly I was neither.  While we did not attain riches by any means (and I mean that by the standard of dollars) – we certainly did not live in squalor either.  I did not grow up with too many brothers or sisters; actually I was an only child.  Let me take that one step farther by letting you know I was adopted, so I knew I was wanted, even when my parents didn’t make it a focused goal of showing it.  My father proudly served in the US Army the bulk on my childhood so I gained the benefits of growing up all over the United States as well as spending years in Europe.  Thus, I am unable to say that I grew up with a narrow focus of what types of people, personalities or cultures exist in our world.  I came to know many of those culture, races, religions and personality types from a young age will into my adulthood.

Like so many others, even you perhaps, I gained a well-rounded and diverse set of experiences while growing up.  Yet, I still made a series of poor choices during my early adult life.  Choices that, as I look back with 20/20 vision, were the result of not knowing what I wanted, not knowing where I wanted to go and, basically, not having any kind of goal to look forward to in my life.  Choices that put me in a place I never imagined I would be (and never want to be again).  I experienced some dark times in my life (as I know many of my readers have – often far worse than mine).  Times when I thought I would not see too many more years – or even days.  Times when I thought the whole worlds goal out  against me.  Times when I felt like nothing I did was going to pull me out of the seemingly bottomless pit I was not only leaning over, but now I was clearly falling fall into.

It was during one of these dark times that I realized and set a goal to get focused on what I DID want.  I was not longer going to let the tracks of someone else’s rollercoaster (their goals) suck me down another unknown, dark and unwanted tunnel filled with screams of fear and pain rather than the screams of joy and excitement.

This is the journey I want to take you on – the journey of facing off and breaking out of the grip forged by this type of thinking, the fear, the mental and success paralysis that it carries with it, and share with you the learning’s, the tips and the keys I used to flip my life from a fear filled rollercoaster ride of emptiness, to the goal of having a joyful, fulfilled life for me and those that I am about to touch.

The posts from this blog we be coming at you more frequently then you have experience in the past as I take you on and share this journey with you – I look forward to reading your comments, hearing about your experiences and seeing if you too can benefit from goal setting, rollercoasters (where you are in control) and screams (of joy!).

 

Think successfully & Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann

One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches

Everyday we have unexpected events happen to us.  We plan down to the slightest detail and BAM something comes along and throws a major wrench into the machine.  But it is not what happens to you at times like this – it is how you react to what happens to you.  In this article I want to share a few ways to keep you acting and thinking both creatively and positively.  Thus keeping your attitude at its very best under all those circumstances that will be thrust upon you time and time again.

  • Concentrate on the good
    • If there was a belief store, where you could go and purchase a belief – then the belief that I would have everyone purchase is the success belief; the belief that everything that happens to you will bring you closer to your desired success or goal.  This belief would enable you to search for and find the good in every situation.  As hard as it may be at times – there is always a good to be had in every single situation that you live through.  Whether it be a lesson learned – experience gained or new contact made – somewhere in there is a good to be had.  Find it and your attitude will take a positive direction.
  • Seek out the valuable lesson
    • Much like concentrating on the good – if you seek out the valuable lesson then alli best price the situation, circumstance or pitfall takes a whole new meaning.  You will begin to realize that whatever situation you are facing right now needed to be faced in order to learn the lesson.  Now take that lesson and integrate it into your goals and plans for the future.  Take that lesson learned and use it to TAKE ACTION towards your success!
  • Concentrate on the solution
    • Whenever a difficulty rears its ugly head, quickly concentrate on the solution rather than focusing on the problem.  Spending your time rehashing, reliving and reflecting on the problem will quickly eat away at your positive attitude.  Instead concentrate on the solution to the obstacle, task or setback that lies in front of you.  Break it down into manageable steps, plan and solve for each of the steps – then TAKE ACTION.  The moment you begin thinking and planning in terms of solutions you become more positive and more constructive.
  • Concentrate on the future
    • Whatever challenges stand before you, focus on the future rather than the past.  You can not change the past so instead of worrying about whom did what to whom and why he is to blame, focus on where you desire to be and how you can get there from here.   Concentrate on the vision of your future.  How you want it to be, how you want it to look.  Lay it all out then take action towards making your future become a reality today.  Keep you mind focused on your future vision and you’ll take more positive actions today.
  • Think like successful people think
    • Successful people know that a positive mental attitude is an indispensable tool.  You too can be as positive as you want to be if you will concentrate on the good, seek out the valuable lesson, focus on the solution and think about the future.  If you think like successful people think, using your mind to exert mental control over the situation, you will be positive and in good spirits a majority of the time.  And you will receive the rewards that come with such a positive mental attitude, as all success people have learned.

Time to Take Action!

  1. Concentrate on the good and seek the valuable lesson in every snag. Start a journal or make a list of every idea and insight you can gain from your setbacks and difficulties.
  2. Become solution-oriented with every difficulty you encounter. Make it a habit to look for the answers to your questions as well as the solutions to your problems.  Seek out the assistance of a mentor or coach along your road to success.
  3. Think on paper. Take the time to write out every detail of the situation, and then brainstorm solutions.  Plan out the most logical next steps then TAKE ACTION to get through the obstacle.

Think Successfully and Take Action!

Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs

How competent do you want to be at what you do? How competent do you want to be at something new? How do you base that competence? Do you have periodic tests, or evaluations against yourself, or against other perhaps? Do you put your work(s) on display in public for the whole world to see, or at least for your office & boss to see? You see, no matter how you demonstrate your competence in what you do – there is definitely always an objective way by which you can and should consider yourself a success in that activity or skill.

While, as I just noted, there is always a way to prove and evaluate your competence, what I find most peculiar is the fact that people who really think they are incompetent at what they do, will often not change their mind when presented with indicators of their success and competence. Their self doubt overrules the evidence of competence, like a judge in the court of their mind. However, this also works on the opposite side of the street. The proof of this would be most evident in all the reality shows we have seen explode onto the scene over the recent years.

One such show that has captured by attention features dancers from all skill levels and walks of life performing weekly to entertain and to win the shows grand prize. The early episodes have many of those people that ‘believe’ they can dance at a level they believe makes them worthy of appearing on the show but truly they can not. When they are given sincere critique by the judges of the show (all of which have been in the industry for many years) they balk at the critique and proclaim their future success in dance. All the while you, the audience member, sit there wondering “how in the world do THEY think they can dance?”

Now I am not saying that they will never reach the level they believe they already have, what I am saying is that their belief in their competence is a driving force and that same driving force can work to your own advantage. I say this from my own experience as well as the experience of people I have come across over the years.

From my own experience, I can share a brief story of how my own belief in my competence launched my programming business. Shortly after leaving the US Military, I did computer programming – mostly as a hobby. While in the military I did use it to make my job simpler by programming a few record keeping tasks and the like. But mostly I did it as a past time – reading up on what was going on in the industry and studying the current programming languages and seeing what I was able to do with them. After I got out of the service I decided to see what I could do with my hobby by trying to turn it into a career. I was able to land a job at a medical billing company as a systems analyst, and then a couple months later I was promoted to their programmer.

How? Well I believed in my ability and my competence in the programming language they were using for their billing system. But, here is the catch… I had only been programming in that particular languages for about six months. So it wasn’t my length of time or experience in their system or its langue that landed me the promotion. Nope it was my belief in my ability to use the knowledge I did have, and my ability to learn everything else I needed to in the time line they expected me to. That’s just what I did, I programmed their doctors billing system over the course of the next few months, by applying the all the best of what I had already learned. Applying all the knowledge and competence I had; not just from their system’s language but from other languages that I had alli and sales previously studied and read up on.

You see, I am willing to bet that you are like most other people (myself included) and that like most people the first step toward improving your job performance, sports performance, relationship performance or any other performance has nothing to do with the job, sport or skill itself. But rather it has to do with improving how they, and you, feel about yourself as a whole and how you feel about yourself relative to that skill or competence. Studies I have read bear out the fact that in eight out of ten people, it is self image that has far more to do with ones performance and competence then their actual level of skill or competence in that skill.

So, you see the next time your sitting down watching one of those reality shows and giggling to yourself as you see the person with that seemingly unrealistic belief that they have the skill to be a winner on that show. Stop for moment and ask how you can take on that same belief in your desired skill of choice. For that passionate belief will bear some wonderful fruit in your competence in that skill as you strive to build it.

Here are a few action steps you can take right now to build your own belief in your competence:

• Create positive affirmations in an area you would like to build competence in and stand tall and recite them with feeling – without feeling and passion the road to competence is much longer
• Read, listen, and study the different nuances of what you are trying to become competent in.
• Everyday practice your skill(s) in the area you are wanting to become more competent in. Do not focus on only one area but grow outward step by step growing your competence and confidence.

Think Successfully & Take Action (with competence!)
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas programs

Jul
25

If you are coasting

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