Over the course of your life you have, and you will need to continue to influence people around you.  You will want to influence some to see your point of view, some to execute tasks or work for you and others to buy from you.   Now, no one wants to be tricked into any of this nor do they want to be taken advantage of.  So how can you sincerely influence those around you – without risk of doing just that?  Let me give you four tips on ethically influencing others.

• Platinum Rule – Do Unto Others
  The golden rule says “Do unto other as you would have done unto you.”  I would urge you to take that up a notch to the Platinum Rule:  “Do unto others as THEY would like to have done unto them.”  One of the most effective ways to influence someone is to do something nice for him or her.  That is why you will find many successful salespeople taking their prospects to a meal.  During this meal the truly successful ones will not mention their products or services – but rather they will make small talk, pose questions and just listen to their prospect and their needs, wants, desires and passions.  This is a way of building trust and establishing a friendly relationship.  Find a way to do something nice for someone – because you want to – not because you want something out of it.  This will do wonders to build your influence with them.

• See The Person First
  Some of the most influential people of today see the person first.  Before seeing them as prospects and customers they look upon them as friends and even partners.  These influential people look for ways to share helpful information and improve the lives of their partners.  They do so in ways not directly related to their products or services.  If they know one of their friends and partners has a passion for baseball and they come across an interesting article or trinket related to baseball – they send it to their partner.  This is just a small example but you get the point. See the person first, know what interests them and keep an eye out for how you can positivity impact their life with this knowledge.  By sowing these seeds you can, like other influential people, reap the harvest because these sown seeds trigger a desire within the partner to reciprocate. 

• Please and Thank You
  Remember growing up and your parents taught you to say “Please” and “Thank You”?  Well these words of kindness still apply as you interact with those you wish to influence.  You should continually be on the look out for ways to say and down positive things for others.  This ranges from things like polite positive comments on their attire and appearance, to sending Thank You & birthday cards.  Something a little more elusive but VERY impactful on your influence on others – is to “Do what you say.”  Be a man or woman of your word.  Keep your promises and keep your confidences.  Further building the relationship of trust – sowing more seeds for you to reap.

• Be a Go Giver
  Take a moment and think about all the statues you have ever seen.  What were they built for?  Where they built for people that spent their lives worrying about what they can get from the world.  I would argue that they were built to honor those that spent a majority of their time giving to the world.  To be like these impactful figures of our past – be a go giver – continue to look for ways to do nice things for others.  When you meet someone ask – “Is there anything I can do for you?” then honestly listen for way to put give rather then get.

• Sincerity and Empathy
  All in all the more you are honestly open and empathetic to the needs of those you around you the more open to your positive influence they will be.  Building your character and personality with sincere empathy and sensitivity will enable you to accomplish far more far faster then you could ever dream.

All of this may seem a little bit sideways or even backwards but trust me when I say “The best way to GET what you want is to GIVE unto others.”  This heartfelt positive giving will move you toward the great success that you desire and deserve.  I think Zig Ziglar put it best when he said “You can have EVERYTHING you what, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Your Success At Last Exercises

To help you move towards Your Success At Last – here are two actions you can take NOW on these tips and ideas.

1. Do Something Nice TODAY. Actively look for way(s) to do nice things for others.  Whether your friends, family, prospects or customers – the more niceties you do for others the more positive you feel about yourself.
2. Truly listen to someone TODAY.  Take the time to really listen to those around you today.  This includes your fellow associates, staff and even that nice person that served you your coffee this morning.  The more, and the better you listen, the more and the better your influence will be.

Think Successfully & Take Action
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches

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