Archive for Low Self Esteem
Cultivate an Air of Importance
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the key desires of every human, that has trend this earth, is a simple one. They want to feel important. Every single person you know, have known, or will come to know, has a natural desire to feel as if they are ‘somebody.’ The desire is truly humankind’s most fervent, persuasive non-biological hunger.
Many people have built entire companies feeding this desire. If you should have the slightest doubt towards that last statement, then, I would urge you to pause and really listen to a few of the commercials on TV. Read some of the copy on the SPAM we all receive. Or, stay up late one night and listen to a couple of those infomercials. The majority of the messages you will receive from all this advertising is, “Buy this product and you will move to the head of the class (in this area or that area).” Whether the area is your body, your financial independence or your home life, you’ll be better, feel better and do better if you buy the product.
Well it’s time that you use this same basic human drive to push yourself towards your own desired success. It is time for you to begin satisfying your own need to feel important. Feeding that internal hunger is a key to getting results, in areas that you have been struggling with. Let’s not forget, so few people use this technique, that once you begin to apply it, you will stand out far in front of the crowd.
Here are some of the ways to cultivate your ‘air’ of importance and reap the rewards:
- Let’s start with the simplest of the cultivation steps. Call people by their names. Applying the “Hey Dude” or “Morning Honey” mentality does not embed you in the minds of those around you. Inside a part of them in thinking, “I’m not important enough to him (or her) to even remember my name, or attempt to.” If you are not making them feel important to you then you will quickly become less important to them. People liked to be called by their name; it gives a little emotional boost to be addressed by name.
- Show an attitude of gratitude. Practice appreciation at every opportunity. Make it a standing rule that you show others your appreciation towards the things they have done for you, or for others. Decide right now that you will NOT let anyone you come in contact with feel like they are taken for granted. No one gets to the top alone. We all have help in our climb. Be sure to thank those that help, even in the slightest way!
Be sure to be sincere in your show of appreciation. No one wants a canned “I don’t know what we would do without you.” Show your gratitude with honest, personalized compliments. We all thrive on compliments and a heartfelt thank you. Praise folks in many ways; by writing a personal note a quick phone call, an email, or make special trip to stop by and see them personally.
Avoid the trap of lumping people into groups such as ‘unimportant’, ‘important’ and ‘very important.’ For without a doubt you have to realize that everyone in your life from the custodian to the congressman is vastly valuable in one way or another. If you want to get first class results you cannot treat these important people like second-class citizens.
- Invest your glory. During the course of your career or family life someone will take the time to notice you publicly. Here you will have two roads you can travel. One road (the road so many take) is the road that leads you to say ‘I’ a lot. You will say things like “Thank you for noticing MY work.” “‘I’ put a lot of time in.” “When ‘I’ started this project…” and so on. While all these statements may be true, you are forgetting the rest of the people that helped you to get to where you are at that very moment. So I would suggest you take the road less traveled. When presented the glory of a win, be it the completion of a project, an award or whatever the glory may be. Take a few moments to bask in the sun of that glory. You deserve it! You worked hard to get there. But then invest some of that glory onto those that helped to put you there. When you share your glory with those that supported you, you can be sure that they will aid you once again, and again, and again.
If you want to cultivate your own air of importance, you need to plant the seeds of importance in those around you. Make them feel important, truly important, to you. Then, you will become important to them. People will do more for you and will perform in a far superior manner for you when you are important to them. Finally, when you make others feel important, you help yourself feel Buy Generic Cialis Online important too! Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
Think Successfully and Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs
5 Ways to Be Assertive and Confident
Posted by: | CommentsNo matter whether you call it Self Development, Personal Development, or Self Help, these books, tapes, courses, CDs and DVDs are flying off the shelf as fast as the staff at your local book store can put them there. Walk into your local library and ask for one of these topics and you will be asking one of the most commonly requested topics.
People from all walks of life, from house wife’s to house builders, from custodians to CEOs, students to professors, business people to entrepreneurs are actively in search of way to improve their lives, their business’, their situations, their standard of living and even themselves. Of the self help genre “How to be assertive” and “How to be confident” of the most sought after topics, thus I thought it worthy to spend a little time sharing some tips with you.
I am willing to be that you, like me, have been drawn to those delightfully assertive and positively confident people. They seem to have a magnetic draw about them. During job interviews potential employers, are keeping a watchful eye out for these highly beneficial qualities in the prospects they are interviewing. Of the qualities they are keeping an eye out for, assertiveness and confidence is high on their list. Think about it for a moment…those people that you have admired, looked up to, emulated or if your lucky, have been mentored by are admittedly confident and assertiveness. Also, I am willing to be that your admiration and respect was because of or at least enhanced by that very confidence and assertiveness.
In order to achieve your goals leading to the life that you not only desire but deserve, being assertive and confident will prove to be two very valuable character traits. While some people seem to be born assertive and confident, the rest of us can learn these coveted characteristics.
Here are 5 ways to become assertive and confident:
- Triumph over shyness. Shyness comes in many forms – from the healthy to overwhelming to the debilitating. I do not want to confuse low-self esteem with shyness the two are like night and day. I have come across many a shy person that has a very positive image of them self, however they merely lacked assertiveness and confidence. If you’re shy, you can practice these Buy Cheap Propecia Online techniques to overcome your shyness:
- Visualization. Positively visualize situations and circumstances before experiencing them. This will give you a better “what if” scenario, and help you be better prepared for any variation. You have probably practiced visualizing negatively – it’s called worry. So why not put that same power to good use by visualizing positively?
- Practice speaking. People who are shy often dislike the sound of their own voices. Practicing speeches in front of a mirror or with trusted friends will help you gain the confidence you need. Check my blog post called “The Practice Process” for a great method of practicing speaking that you could use for this very reason – whether or not you ever plan to give a speech in front of an audience. The simple ability to convey your thoughts clearly and with ease will do wonders for your confidence and ability to be assertive.
- Reinforce the positive. This is a way of thinking yourself out of being shy. By using affirmations to assert your positive characteristics, you can convince yourself that you are brilliant and worthy of great things. After all, sometimes the hardest person to convince is you!
- Avoid confusing aggressive with assertive. Remember those you are trying to influence will respond better to your being assertive rather then coming at them aggressively.
- Aggressive people tend to be seen as bossy or as bullies. They are the ones that come at a situation from all the wrong angles with harsh criticism. Using statements like “You are doing that all wrong..”.
- Assertive people come at the exact same situation with sincere concern and result oriented ideas to improve the project, rather that ‘bash’ the current “way.”
- Approach people with positive attitudes and your solutions to problems. Show them the respect you would like to have shown you, and you will have the same courtesy returned in kind.
- Stay informed. One of the surest ways of becoming and staying assertive and confident is to know your subject matter. No matter the situation is, whether financial, personal, professional or spiritual, the more you know, the more confident you will be.
- Whether a job interview, a elevator conversation or a presentation to a room full of people, knowing what you’re talking about will give an uplifting air of confidence.
- Prepare for potential questions on your subject matter. Think about all the questions you have been asked in the past or could be asking in the near future. You could even have a trusted associate help you with identifying some common questions and answers that you would not think of alone. Create this question list, get the answers then practice them. You will gain a solid confidence in front of others when you have first brainstormed and practice these with someone you are comfortable with.
- Just Say It! How many times have you been around someone that you know knew something of value or importance and they just did not speak up when the time was right. So… Just say it! Then say it with confidence even if you don’t feel confident. Practice speaking this confidently. The more you practice the more it will become second nature.
- WWJD? Model someone you worthy that you admire. I can remember not too long ago, many people wore WWJD wrist bands and cars were plastered with WWJD sticker. WWJD stands for “What would Jesus do?” No matter your spiritual affilations – this same motto should become a part of your thinking. Model someone you admire and respect and ask “What would X do?” I am willing to bet that the people/person you admire have the assertiveness and confidence you are hoping to build.
- Observe how they do things.
- Pay attention to what they say and how they say it.
- Watch their body language.
Studying and modeling people who have the character traits and habits you desire is one of the best ways to birth, nurture and instill those very same traits in yourself.
Learning to become confident and assertive can enable you to achieve your goals leading to the life that you not only desire but deserve. Remember that many of our great leaders in business, politics and even religion, did not start out assertive nor confident, George Washington was so shy growing that he avoided talking to people. Yet, he changed his ways, and so can you! Practicing these and other confidence boosting tips will put you on the right track to success. BUT – First and foremost, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities!
Think Successfully & Take Action!
Tracy Brinkmann
One of Today’s TOP Motivated Coaches & Author of Success Atlas Programs
